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- Mood:accomplished
You can't step in the same river twice
The water's always changing, always flowing But people, I guess, can't live like that
We all must pay a price
To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing What's around the riverbend
Waiting just around the riverbend
I look once more
Just around the riverbend
Beyond the shore
Where the gulls fly free
Don't know what for
What I dream the day might send
Just around the riverbend
for me
Coming for me
I feel it there beyond those trees
Or right behind these waterfalls
Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming
for a handsome sturdy husband
Who builds handsome sturdy walls
And never dreams that something might be coming?
Just around the riverbend
Just around the riverbend
I look once more
Just around the riverbend
Beyond the shore
Somewhere past the sea
Don't know what for. . .
Why do all my dreams extend
Just around the riverbend?
Just around the riverbend . . .
Should I choose the smoothest course
Steady as the beating drum?
Should I marry Kocoum?
Is all my dreaming at an end?
Or do you still wait for me, Dream river
Just around the riverbend?"
These are the lyrics from Pocahontas - Just around the riverbend. I see this as how I and some around me live our lives; searching, finding, jumping, falling then back to searching... always looking for that golden ring just around the riverbend. Is our dream really there? will we ever know what's "Just around the riverbend?"
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- Mood:
content
I then look at my circle of friends, some of us with health issue some without and the shear number of friends lost to HIV/Aids and the many other ailments that around us. Is their loss in vain?
I guess where my mind is right now is: when my time is here, will my leaving be in vain? will I have lived my life to it's fullest? will my life, lived as a slave be all it should be? or am I flowing along with lifes river with no paddles?
my question for the rest of this week seems to be:
am I living my life to it's fullest potential?
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:just around the riverbend
Comment on this post, and I'll:
1) Tell you why I friended you
2) Associate you with a song/movie
3) Tell a random fact about you
4) Tell a first memory about you
5) Associate you with an animal/fruit
6) Ask something I've always wanted to know about you
7) Tell you my favourite user pic of yours.
Obviously since since this is a self respecting meme and needs to replicate itself, you'll need to post it on your LJ as well.
Thanks to wlmurphy0432
The principle that struck me the most is that of "Real is empathetic" - chapter 4 where Tori writes "Timothy the wooden soldier and all the other mechanical toys seem unable to express kindness. William hints at one reason. She notes that the self important model boat has lost "most of his paint." His insecurity and fear of being seen as less than perfect lay behind his facade of superiority. He couldn't show empathy for others when he was secretly ashamed of himself."
In looking at those that I used to associate with, I can see the reasoning behind this. One feeling that because he owns a lot of "toys" he should be placed in a position of importance within the community. another that feels that because she is a long time member of the community that she holds the right to tell people what they should and shouldn't say. Both of these people have hidden "evils" that are not openly known to the community but shared with certain people...
It explains a lot of the hurt they cause to others... it goes with the saying that bullies will belittle others to make themselves bigger and better.... I sit back now and still watch this happening to others by the same people that treated me in that manner.
- Mood:busy
I see BDSM/Master/slavery as being the same... its all based on individual beliefs... but yet there are those that insist on forcing their beliefs on to everyone... back to the we accept everyone EXCEPT ??? accept everyone except those that don't fit their mold...
I don't know if there is a resolve to this or if it is something that just is... but I do understand how it has affected me in my journey to find who I am.
- Mood: contemplative
- Mood:
cheerful
A lot of what I have been thinking about these past few weeks is how BDSM/slavery and all that goes with it pertains to my life and how it has changed it both for the good and bad. I was led to re-read Jack Rinella's book "Philosophy in the dungeon", especially chapter 6 on UNITY. It states that no matter what we choose to believe, as long as all aspects are uniform so that not one aspect stands out from the others. I see slavery in my life as a major identifier... it is who I am. When I serve I am free to be me, the real person that I am, when I don't serve I feel disconnected or even lost. As for the BDSM aspect... I don't feel as much of a need for that. That isn't to say that when I am alloted the opportunity I wouldn't take it... a hard flogging is a wonderful thing! but it is something that I can go without for quite some time... but I do feel the same as Jack, unity in everything I believe it is the key.
- Mood:accomplished
- Mood:
okay
I find in this review of my being that I have deeper fear of being alone, so I seek and move faster than I need to… to be able to keep my world filled with people. But in an attempt to change this I have left all the groups except one in the maine BDSM community, distanced myself from the social/teaching/support groups, why? Peace, quiet, distance… a time and chance to seek without the pressure to be the slave … be the submissive… to serve someone just for the sake of it…
I’ve found by doing this the people that only called themselves “friend” have backed off leaving only those that matter in my life there… I went from around 12 “friends” to 4 real friends that I know care… and oddly enough I don’t miss them, in fact I am happier in what I do now. I don’t have that “being used” feeling… and I like that!
So, what I have found is that patience although very hard to practice; when achieved opens the door to peace and comfort.
- Mood: content
- Mood:
relaxed
- Mood:accomplished
- Mood:busy
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