the day after
- Mood:
disappointed
this is sounding like a record
- Mood:
stressed
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- Mood:
depressed
- Mood: depressed
- Mood:
confused
- Mood:accomplished
- Mood:
discontent
Saturday was the big day…. Curtis and tig went for a walk first thing… down to pick up some fresh bagels – fresh and hot.. got to watch them being made… yummy! We went back to the apartment and had breakfast it was fun! Chatted and decided who was doing what.. tigger wasn’t to happy that wen couldn’t go with Master Curtis and tig for a day on the town… would have loved to spend more time together… but wen had to do the mommy thing so she did a show and shopping with the girls.. Master and tig did the NYC thing, Mark went with wen ???? Eric did his own thing.. until his interview at 2:10… Master and tig had a good time roaming through NYC… what a place! The people, the skyscrapers and the billboards! Wow! Then to ground Zero then to the battlement … got some good pics of lady liberty! then headed back to the apartment for some lunch and a nap before the night but headed to Central Park first with Master Curtis….…
Saturday night!!! What a night! Got all gussied up, had some pics taken and headed out to Paddles! What an awesome place…Master was in his element, started with wen… really put her through her paces… it was beautiful to watch and to hold Masters toys for him to use – Master seemed to enjoy having both slaves there at his disposal. After close to 15 – 20 minutes he brought wen down a bit and enjoyed her being tied up…. What a beautiful sight! We undid the restraints and got her dressed… then he told tig to undress and prepare… tig did and was treated to a wonderful scene Master was extremely proficient this night… especially with the flogging! It had been a long time since tig was brought that far… actually wen was the last one to do that… Master even graced tig with some nice markings… what a wonderful gift from Master Curtis…. tigger hopes that he honored Master with his accepting the scene he gave so wonderfully! …. We chatted a bit upstairs and then headed back… wen was hoping to get some Krispy Kreams but the place moved so we enjoyed breakfast at a small diner… then home to bed… but couldn’t get to sleep so tig got all his stuff packed…
Got up around 9ish on Sunday and enjoyed a quiet cup of coffee got dressed and picked up around the apartment… did the bagel thing again for breakfast then watched tv… we attended a Mast meeting… wasn’t sure what to expect but felt very at home, very comfortable…. We greeted a few people then went to sit, Master sat in a nice leather rolling chair with wen kneeling to his left and tigger to his right… what a nice feeling that was… it was the first time that tig had ever done that in a public setting, only other time was with Bill and it just wasn’t the same… As we sat, tig watched a young man by the name of slave rick, his Master, Master Tip was there with pledge kevin… Please don’t misunderstand… tig loves wen and Master Curtis… they have been there for tig the whole way as supporters mentors, and friends… but the fact that they are married is still there…. With Master Tip, slave rick and pledge kevin that kind of relationship doesn’t exist…. It is a pure M/s relationship… the kind that tig wants and will have one day… it got to a point that it hurt to see them and to watch the interactions a know that tig can’t have that until he moves out west to serve Master Cage. wen asked tig what was up, so tig explained that watching slave rick was hard and why that was. Wen asked tig what was stopping him from going… and after thinking about it tig couldn’t answer… there was no reason…. Mom seems to be in no rush to sell and dad is… well… dad… what more can tig say? tigger needs to do this… for tigger! After Mast we headed back to the apartment to pick up the luggage and say the goodbyes…. And back on the road at about 5:30ish….
It was a long trip back… did a lot of thinking on the way… could tigger leave earlier? Would it work? Would Master and pup allow it? What about finances? Took a little nap then we stopped for dinner.. we stopped at this great little diner just past Danbury CT.. big food … little prices…. Got home around 2:00am. Then to bed and off to work the following morning…. It was a long day on Monday… was totally exhausted, left an hour early, went home fell alseep and slept all night. Got up Tuesday and went to work… was feeling a bit sick but thought that it was the fact that he was still exhausted….tig and mom had a falling out tonight… over the possibility of tig heading out early… of course mom did the guilt thing… it didn’t work! Tig is going to let things go and see what happens after the new year….. and even though tig didn’t feel good he stayed through the sub chat for wen… it was interesting… Wednesday went by… again tig was feeling yucky… his throat now hurt and the caughing began… tig got home and took some nyquil and went to bed…. And slept! Right through the community chat! tig felt real bad at that happening so he appologized to pup and Master for allowing that to happen… it is so unlike tig to miss a scheduled meeting but it happened. Thursday was the worst! tig felt like crap… caughed all day went home early again to get some sleep…. Chatted a bit with Master and Master Behr… but didn’t hear from pup… tig still has a lot to think about but isn’t going to let it get him down… Masters needs will always come first!
- Mood:
content
- Mood:
anxious
- Mood:
blank
- Mood: depressed
- Mood:busy
- Mood:
angry
- Mood:accomplished
- Mood:accomplished
- Mood:accomplished
- Mood:accomplished
- Mood: discontent
- Mood:accomplished
hmmm…. tigger has a lot of low spots on his life and in his make up… but this isn’t about his past… this is about his being… what does tigger consider a low? Things that tigger needs to watch and monitor about himself. There are so many … tigger will start with the biggie… temper, tigger has over the years learned to suppress his temper, how bad you ask? pulling a carving knife on a babysitter…. Driving a door handle through a door… punching and driving his fist through a wall.. plaster board, plaster and slats, broke a lot of glass, dishes… you name it… tigger’s broken it… but now laughter suppresses the anger… when tigger is faced with things that anger him… tigger backs off, leaves, gets out of the situation. But is that all well and good… no… why? It allows tigger to suppress the pain, the hurt and in turn that eats at tigger… so although it works… it does need to be monitored at all times. Next is tiggers socialness… tiggers a talker… tigger does get in trouble by talking to much… tigger has to busy himself to keep himself from chatting and being the “social butterfly” of the gathering..
- Mood:accomplished
This is one of those questions that tigger knew from day one of his service to Bill & suu… it was so obvious… tigger is driven to better serve by the the responses both verbal and non verbal that he receives after completing given and non given tasks.. tigger watches his Master for suttle signs that Master is pleased… when tigger sees this he is driven, renewed, given new life to do even more to please… that little smile of Bills and the big hug that tigger received…. That’s all it takes…. tigger is so easily pleased… but likewise is so easily hurt and tortured by tiggers doing something wrong… tigger is a great one for beating himself up for misdeeds, especially if tigger knows that what he does is wrong…. Usually punishment isn’t required because tigger has whipped himself raw already…. But then again tigger has never really been “punished” - spanked – anything… that is why tigger requested engaging Master Curtis… but if tigger does mess up again…. he would request a true punishment…. Harsh… a teaching tool for tigger. One that tigger will not soon forget… that is the one big thing that was missing with bill & suu… no consequenses…. Tigger could do anything and it was ok…. It could be from the fact that tigger didn’t have a contract… no rules…. Tigger requires rules, boundries…
- Mood:
complacent
more reality bites......
Is tigger worthy of such a position?
What position you ask? slave! “Worthy”, let’s look at the word… to be worthy, is to possess/claim some worth… so is tigger worthy? Yes! tigger will bring a measure of “worth” to Master. tigger brings with him a lot of knowledge and upbringing that will help Master in opening up an inviting in the community at large. tigger brings financial know how that most outside the banking realm don’t understand… he brings music, laughter, and peace to community…. tigger offers so much including himself to Master and the community. In the long run, tigger does hope that his can be worthy of a slave position… whichever one that may be…
- Mood:accomplished
- Mood:
restless
- Mood:
frustrated
- Mood:
tired
- Mood:
chipper
- Mood:busy
- Mood:
contemplative
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