2006 January

[protected post] almost the weekend!!!

  • Jan. 25th, 2006 at 5:59 PM

another snowy day! bet it isn’t snowing in CA!!! just 1½ months to go.... it seems so far away. chat last night was fun... stoney adds so much to the discussion... we wandered off topic a few times but for the most part it stayed on track... a lot was spent on wens ordeal at swlf and Bill ... Thursdays dinner should be interesting... from the sounds of it wen has decided to end the Houston thing... at dinner tig will inquire what Master Curtis would like tig to wear for the flee won’t be buying anything but will collect all business cards and pamphlets then put them together in a data base for Master’s use... Issues!... suu is starting to push again... guess they finally figured out that they’ve been wrong in things that they have publicly said and are now in defensive mode... tig doesn’t really know and doesn’t really care at this point in time... tig has better things to do.... ;) tonight is community chat time... will be very surprised if brother scuffy is there... he wasn’t feeling well yesterday, he thinks he might be getting a cold or flu... tig hopes that Master will have some new projects, duties and/or tasks for tig to do, so that tig won’t get board..... tig is currently reading book one of the Market place... called The Marketplace... even though it’s fiction... there is so much that is real... the Market place is a home where slaves are brought, trained and either returned to their Masters or sold to new Masters.... which makes tig think about the “training” that pup was sent to... is it on the same idea? will tig be sent some day for further “training”? what is it like being sent out? how does one deal with being submissive to another that is not your Master? there is so much that tig needs to learn.... but then comes the questions like... will Master Cage ever sell tig to someone else? what a thing to think about... actually being sold... or even given to another.... why would this be done? Displeasure? Wow ... what a frightening thought! hopefully that will never happen to tig ... tig feels that it would be devastating to be informed that he was being sold for whatever reason.... ok enough of that... tig isn’t even there yet! whew! work... it’s getting really hard to care about all the crap that is going on around the workplace... the politics is really getting out of hand! tig has just started with the “ya.... so...” attitude... it might not be the nicest or the best but it works... and will work for the next month.... mom & dad.... well... after chatting with Anne for a bit tig has decided to just let mom & dad go.... they won’t be moving soon that is for sure... not with mom procrastinating so much.... next week tig will begin sorting the last bunch of stuff in the basement.... shouldn’t take too long! then will start sorting music... what goes to storage and what stays out.... that will take some time! well... need to close and get ready to leave work for the day...
  • Mood: amused

[protected post] a return to the mundane

  • Jan. 24th, 2006 at 5:54 PM

tig went back to work today... nothing new or changed, same old stuff. lots of question about if tig changed his mind about going... said NOPE! in fact just the opposite! tig realized yesterday just how much he “fit” and how comfortable he was there in CA... it’s amazing how when things go right... you can feel it... even leaving Maine has come to feel right. Mom was showing a lot more emotion yesterday especially if CA came up in conversation... tig feels that mom is in a way hurt by how happy tig is in CA... but that is something that mom will need to work through... besides it’s not that tig is unhappy here... just unfulfilled, and it’s not because of her or dad... it’s because of tig... a need that tig has... she still also has a major hang-up about the leather collar... she can deal with the chain... but not the leather... maybe because it is more visible??? tig chatted with Master about when it is acceptable to wear the leather collar, and now understands that it is specifically for Master/slave functions such as Mast and things like that... not for SMAK and ALUR functions. wen should have come home yesterday, it will be interesting to see how things went with Houston Bill... tig might set up time for a massage to see what happened and to chat about how tigs weekend went... then again tig may just catch up with her tonight at the chat.... community chat on Wednesday should be interesting! tig had just a few minutes to chat with scruffy yesterday but all in all it went well... scruffy still seems to be jealous that tig is here and was able to visit this last weekend... he really is hard to understand, tig doesn’t understand why, if scruffy has part time jobs that allow him the time to take 3 months off, he doesn’t apply for a visa and move here permanently... or is it that scruffy doesn’t have the drive to really be a 24/7 slave to Master? could it be that scruffy is content with the “play” aspect just as Bill and suu are? submissive only when online? what is it that drives him? can there really be so much that separates where tigs head is compared to scruffy? or is tig looking for the silver lining.... or through rose colored glasses? hmm... don’t think so.... tig knows what he is looking for.... and knows that it is going to be a long hard road, there will be highs and lows.... but tig knows what he is looking for, what feelings he needs to be whole and fulfilled... it would be really good if scruffy could journal... allow others to see inside the boy... what makes him tick! It would help him find himself in this journey… but unfortunately it doesn’t seem that it will happen. it’s interesting how things work out! tig hopes that as the time comes closer to the move that pup and Behr can help tig with the routine of the house... tig took a lot of time to memorize the daily routine... only to find that is isn’t really followed.... that things are in fact a bit relaxed, it will be interesting to see if it stays that way or if Master will tighten the reigns with Behr and pup and follow the schedules given... which leads back to the chat that pup and tig had at the house on Saturday ... tig had mentioned earlier that he was looking for a controlling Master, one that would take the control that tig had from him.... well, that too has changed a bit... in the many chats that tig has had with wen concerning Houston Bill; tig has found that he is not ready for that level... not meaning that tig couldn’t do it... but that tig really wasn’t ready for that level... a slower entry into the slave lifestyle seems to be the path most suited for tig... and Master fits that perfectly... He has taken control and does so daily but allows for errors and learning with appropriate correction and discipline. That is what tig needs... that is what fulfills tig at this point in the journey.
  • Mood: contemplative

[protected post] a review of the trip

  • Jan. 23rd, 2006 at 10:31 PM

It is so hard to believe that tigs trip to visit Master, pup and Behr has come and gone. Where did the time go? tig didn’t get a chance to upload Fridays entry… and it currently at the airport so most likely won’t be able to do so here either… but will upload them tonight… the weekend… what can tig say? This weekend locked in the fact that that is where tig belongs and that tig is needed and wanted there… tig arrived Friday at noon.. still a bit aprehensive but finally there… it felt like old home week there… such a comfort to be with Master… even for just a day and a half…. Went to pick up a bite to eat then to the movies – saw Underworld… kind of a gorry one but just the fact of being with Master made it good… after the movie we took a scenic ride towards the house... stopped for food then home… what beautiful scenery there is… mountains galore! Got to the house … a small quaint, floor and a half (?).. nice sized living room, computer room, bedroom, bath, kitchen/laundry… 2nd floor is a single large great room 2 queen beds on the right and dungeon on the left. tig hopes that in March the downstairs room will be vacant for tig to have a space… but there will most likely be shifting around so that eithere Master and pup or Behr would have their spaces… that will be need to be seen…. tig helped out fixing and serving Fridays dinner.. sweet & sour kilbasa over rice… everyone enjoyed…. (whew!) then we watched SciFi… after the chores were done that is…. Then to tigs surprise Master comes down with the straight jackets.. one for pup and one for tig.. just love the leather one…. 2 hours later… it was time for bed and out of the jacket… tig wasn’t too surprised to see that he would spend the night in the cage… 5x5 or somewhere around there… 1” square bars… it was comfortable but tig started to cramp in the early morning… but soon after Master came to get tig… wasn’t sure why… but tig was lead downstairs to the computer room where he knelt before Master for the chat that tig had requested… during that chat Master and tig covered a lot of topics but to make a long diatribe short… it ended with tig being recollared with Masters pledge collar… what a thrill for tig to again be wearing a leather collar! Not to long after Behr came wandering down… and Master went to clean up and get dressed…. So tig and Behr had their chance to chat… got a lot of history on Behr… fills in a lot of blanks that tig had of him. But the most important thing was to open the dialogs between tig and Behr… to find that connection… it does seem to have worked because the block between us seems to have dropped… Saturday was a day to meet new friends… Jim & Paul… two great guys… tig hopes to see a lot more of them in the future… we went home after and tig fixed dinned… roast beef, bisquets, egg noodles… it came out real good… tig did the dishes then askked to chat with pup….tig wanted to take a lot longer to chat with pup but didn’t have a chance to … but got to talk about the details that tig had planned to… Master wanted to play with puppy… it was fun.. pup seemed to have a great time…. During the play tig so wanted to go down on pup… he was right there… and looked so wonderful… but not knowing the limits; used his limits that his superiors genital areas are off limits unless invited… tig felt kind of bad when pup went down on tig…. But then he didn’t stop there… he used tigs dildo and his fingers and just made tig feel wonderful…. Master, pup and behr will soon learn that they have a slave to use as they wish and to do what they wish with…. To allow oneself to be used , for tig is a passage to or a step closer to being a slave… tig is sure that the trust required for this will soon be there… tig was also kind of dissapointed that behr didn’t stay.. but it is understandable… Master then gave tig a gift of great value, the chance to sleep snuggled close to Him. It seems so insignificant to some.. that the act of just being in the presence of another is so important… but not to tig… it is a healing, a bonding… just as a child is to his parents. But as all good things must come to an end… morning came and tig had to leave… a time that tig didn’t want to happen… tig showered … not only with the shower but with his tears… leaving is such a hard thing for tig to do… tigs trip back was a long one… Sacramento was great… Georgia was a mess… was 2 ½ hours late in leaving… got to NH at 11:30pm… then had to drive home… 2am when tig got home… so where to now? Well.. tig is back to Maine and now needs to get back to a routine… tig found it interesting tonight… big bill asked tig what the cage community gave to tigger for christmas… tig paused … and explained that they didn’t give tig a “thing” but gave him an emotion, a love, a memory… something much more valuable than things…. Something that tig will treasure forever. Something that bill and suu don’t understand… or can handle for that matter. Both of them are so materialistic that when faced with an exchange of emotion they don’t know what to do about it or how to handle it. Seems odd that he even asked….
  • Mood: high

[protected post] fridays journal 1-20

  • Jan. 20th, 2006 at 7:54 PM

Well, made it to Sacramento… it’s been a long time coming… the trips here were quite uneventful… Manchester was nice, got caught in security… the nipple rings… just to much for the system… it will be interesting to see if it happens going back… wen should be in phoenix by now… tig hopes that this weekend helps her make that big decision… Master Curtis sounded like he was doing great yesterday… can’t get online tonight so maybe will try tomowwor if Master allows… Master seems happy to have tig here as well as Master Behr and pup… tig is very happy to be here… didn’t realize how much tig really missed the guys…. Weather here is beautiful… haven’t put on the leather jacket yet…. But did see way too much snow…. Just a few miles up the road… it seemed odd that tig left Maine to travel 3150 miles to sunny California to see SNOW! Well, tig is getting tired so will soon see what Master has in store….
  • Mood: content

[protected post] travel night!

  • Jan. 19th, 2006 at 7:23 PM

tonights a quick entry... tig is in Manchester getting ready for the flight in the wee hours of the morning.... going to see Master.... a long awaited trip...
  • Mood: anxious

[protected post] Master & tig.... plus a lot more.....

  • Jan. 18th, 2006 at 4:11 PM

Well… tig just finished his work… will be goofing off for the rest of the day!... no one can complain though tigs work is more than caught up… recons are empty and daily is completed… so the pass down will be squeaky clean. tig will be checking his lists to be sure everything is packed and will stop by rite aid to pick up the last minute travel things. tig shouldn’t need anything else but as he told Sir… it is better to be prepared than to need and not have. Had a real good chat session last night with Maine Submissive… topic was how we keep focused in our daily lives on our submission… tig explained that for him his submission and slave being stayed forefront ahead of everything else… vanilla tasks are added – completed – then removed… but all fall under Masters umbrella. tig also uses his collar, ring and pictures to keep centered on Master and the community. But there are times that stress and pressure build up in tig and he looses his center and focus… those times require more effort to pull back in and refocus… usually a centering session does the trick… a quiet room, candles for peace… and a simple mantra like “thank you Master for owning such a slave” or just “thank you Master for your love” or “thank you Master”, “tig is yours”. It’s amazing how much of a difference an hour or so in solitude can change a person; bring that person back to the important spots in life. Even at work tig finds that closing his eyes and holding Master’s collar draws Master back to tigs center and reaffirms Masters ownership of tigger. That is one area that tig often find that he needs help with; that of affirmation. tigs being as with all humans require a small amount of affirmation to stay real to themselves… tig isn’t talking big parties held in for someone to thank them… no… just a good job…. Thank you… a smile… a hug… something to remind that life is good and all is well. Communication is so important in any kind of relationship, especially in a M/s relationship where so much trust is present between the Master and the slave. Without communication trust is hard to build and maintain. But then the questions, how much? What kind of communication? Is just a look enough? Should daily communication be primarily verbal? tig feels that in the early days verbal communication is a necessity. The art of reading a person does eventually come in time… tig, in the past has become very proficient in that art; knowing that Bill would be needing a soda, or tea…. Just by watching, observing…. … and allowing time to do its job. tig hopes that this weekend will help build that line of communication between Master, Behr, pup and tig. Over the past 2 or 3 weeks tig has felt and interesting dynamic happening in the Maine groups… more on the basis of dissention… seems to tig that a lot of what was felt earlier in the group segmenting has begun to happen…. There are group members that haven’t been heard from for months now… emails have been sent but nothing returned… it’s too bad because the Maine group was a strong voice for BDSM in the state… but with people like suu at the helm of the ship it’s bound to hit an iceberg! tig sits back every now and again and remembers conversations about SMAK never becoming another CUFS or ALUR … and low and behold… it has gone the same path… just ask her…. suu is SMAK just as angel is ALUR and ren is CUFS…. It’s a sad sight. Tig has often wondered if he was to stay and start a group if things could be different… heaven only knows!  tig isn’t going to worry because tig won’t be here long enough to start anything!
  • Mood: anxious

[protected post] 72 hours and counting! :)

  • Jan. 17th, 2006 at 6:54 PM

Looks like it’s going to be a fairly quick day today… none of the reports were up so we had to manually pull them… took a good chunk of the morning… work was light and went quick with very few issues… even had the time to clean my keyboard! The weekend went by quickly also didn’t seem to have time to do very much. Thought we might get rid of aunty on Monday but it didn’t happen…. Mom, Dad and her went down today and due to the weather will be back tonight but it looks clear for both sides Friday through Sunday. tig is looking forward to a quiet two days without aunty here…. Chatted with Master yesterday afternoon… from the sounds of it His and tigs review were much in the same area, tig is anxious to sit with Master and discuss the review and see what happens because of it. Master also assured tig that there was no reason to be scared of the trip… tig believes that he surprised Master with his answer to if tig was willing to spend a night in the cage… and tig responded that he would spend as much time anywhere that Master wished. Many things have changed for tigger and hopefully Master will be pleased to see them. A lot of the inhibitions that tigger started with and brought up during the October visit have gone and the service part of tig has begun to emerge along with the knowledge of the fact that for the past 90 days tig has survived as being Masters property…. Owned! An awesome feeling to have… sent a quick text msg to pup this morning… 2 ½ days – pup is very excited that tig will be there soon… not to sure about Behr though…. Haven’t chatted with him in a long time…will need to chat about that changing…. tig will add that to his list of discussion topics. So… tig is packed and ready to go… currently using the reserve set of everything… cuffs, chains, connectors… etc… just need to pick up gum for the trip to and from…. Mom is funny… she is still under the impression that in a year from tigs moving he will be returning to Maine…. She just doesn’t want to let go… guess it partly tigs fault for hanging around so long. tig is sure that the break will be hard but they will settle into a routine not long after tigs departure. tig just heard from pup 72 hours to go… Sir mentioned that the house would not be clean…. So tig reminded Sir that he was a trained houseboy….  got to love them…. They will make tig feel right at home…. Can start by cleaning! It would be real interesting for tig to be able to go back in time and see what his life would be had cage community not become a part of it…. Not really sure tig wants that to happen… in fact he knows that he doesn’t want that to happen.
  • Mood: excited

[protected post] Jan. 16th, 2006

  • 10:07 PM

tig can hardly believe that thursday is almost here.... chatted with Master tonight... he and the community are just as excited about the visit... tig turned in the review... from what Master was saying tonight His side is about the same... tig is anxious to chat with Master about the review and see what happens from there. today was an interesting day to say the least... had it off because of Martin Luther King Jr day... will work tuesday and wednesday then leave thursday.... anne brought up again about visiting in the fall/winter time... told her that we will have to see. wen is so anxious for me to get back so she can hear how tig survived the weekend. tig set up a massage so we can chat.... might need one by then..... ;)
  • Mood: anxious

[protected post] the week is here

  • Jan. 15th, 2006 at 9:12 PM

it's hard to believe that this is the week... aunty is going home! and friday tig goes to Masters waiting arms... last night wen called tig and asked if he wanted to go to blackstones and to dinner to chat... Master Curtis, wen and tig had a great time... and good chat .. tig has been not upset but disappointed with the Maine bdsm groups.... but wen said that they are treating tig this way because of jealousy.... they want what tig has.. but are scared to take the necessary jump to fullfilment. people, especially bill and suu will be waiting with baited tongue to hear everything tig says... and to hear if tig doesn't make the cut... just so that they can gloat... but tig will never giv them the satisfaction to do so... tig WILL serve Master and see his destiny lived out.
  • Mood: anxious

[protected post] a beautiful day!

  • Jan. 12th, 2006 at 6:16 PM

A new day and old problem… no work… Barbara and tig have 125 to split… tig had 144 yesterday and was done by noon. So tig will have plenty of time to work on his journal and review…. One week from today.. tig will be in Manchester then at 5:45 on Friday morning will be on his way to California… tig feels a lot better after last nights chat with pup, it had been a very long time since we really chatted like that… tig was scared of not being all that he could in the area of protocols… there is so much that tig hasn’t experienced live yet… so tig and pup played the 50 questions game… now tig understands more fully what he should expect in directives, requirements and expectations. tig still has butterflies with going but with a reassuring hug from pup, Master and/or Behr every now and then everything will be just fine. It’s still an awesome thought that tigs dreams will be lived and change from the land of fantasy to that of reality. If only bill & suu could realize the full potential of what they have and live it to the fullest…. They would be so much better off, but that will never happen with them… they are not of the ideal of a 24/7 lifestyles… more just play time situations…. It’s really Interesting…. tig needs to remember that Master, pup & Behr are not task masters… they won’t beat tig to a pulp for a mistake or missed queue…. tig received his termination packet from HR yesterday and has started to look over things to make sure that every little detail is covered… and thus far it is!!! If tig can pull his esop and have it disbursed than March 1st will be the 2 week date… otherwise tig may have to stretch it out to the end of March…. And as usual all is hinged on a job! But everything will work out simply because it is right… and good…. Mom and Dad are doing well… now that Aunty has a place to go they will be busy getting her settled… so tig is pretty sure that they won’t have a going away get together for tig… and maybe that is for the best~ as for the Maine community… Ha! tig would be shocked if they do anything for tig… tig often hears things that lead him to believe that they might… but then knowing them…. They won’t! saw the most beautiful tatoo today…. Been thinking since about asking Master for permission to get a small tat…. Well… maybe not…. Don’t know…..
  • Mood: cheerful

[protected post] a night of hurt

  • Jan. 11th, 2006 at 10:40 PM

Seems like it will be another quiet afternoon. Barb is out today… most likely a sick of work day! But that is ok, because if we had to split the work … tig would have been done almost 3 hours ago! So tig will work on the recons this afternoon…. Last nights chat was on that angered tig towards the end… tig is getting tired of people getting “heady” about submission, let’s face it… if tig is happy and Master is happy and we both see eye-to-eye … then what is the issue…. Stop trying to over-think the issues… as for dumping religion in to the mix… why? What does serving Master have to do with the faith that tig believes in? but through all the chat what hurt the most was being pushed to open up about what makes Master stand out for me…. What is it about Master that make tig want to uproot his life and move to California? This is a topic that brings forth a lot of hurt and pain in tigs life… It deals with not having a father around… not having that control aspect that is needed to grow fully and balanced. So is tig looking for a father figure in his life… maybe in a small way…. Someone that will take control and say no to tig… something that tig has never had. Mom told tig not to long ago about the memories that she has of tig sitting on the stairs when he was 3 or 4 … in tears… and asking why his daddy doesn’t love him…. Tig to this day still asks that question… but now knows the answer… it was dads own inadequacies not tigs… dad felt that he wasn’t what tig needed… so he spent his time with the guys at the bases… when dad wasn’t on deployment he worked… and worked…. And worked… anything to stay out of the house…. Away from tig… now if you ask Anne about dad… he was the best! Because he was there for her…. She was daddies little princess…. Tig was just in the way… did it hurt then? Yes….. Does it hurt now? Even more! Will tig ever reconcile with dad? Most likely not… why make him hurt too? For what purpose? Let him live as if all was good…. It will make it easier on mom… Last night we also chatted about making sure that there was fun in the M/s D/s relationship… tig doesn’t do this so well…. tig is serious when he serves… focused… but does tig like to have fun…. Yup! Always have and always will… there has to be fun…. We are emotional people, and laughter is one of our favorite emotions… and hey if you can’t laugh at yourself… why bother? But then the question was raised… is the “relationship” and ideal or is it with the one we serve? For tig… it is the ideal…. tig knows and realizes that Master and pup are partners and that Behr isn’t interested in tig… (at least tig thinks!), so tigs relationship is with the ideal of service… that there would be no romance…. Hopefully cuddling isn’t included in that term…. tig would be lost without cuddling….  Chatted with pup for over an hour tonight… tig feels better about the visit… more relaxed…
  • Mood: relaxed

[protected post] quiet at work

  • Jan. 10th, 2006 at 6:50 PM

Today has been a good day… not a lot of work but did get a few messes cleaned up, that always makes it a good day. Starting to pull things together for the trip next weekend… still scared of what will happen… the unknown thing! Hopefully Master, pup and Behr will remember that tig is still in training, even though his heart is there, there is a lot that tig needs to learn. tig hopes that he will have quiet time with each of his new family members to better learn about them and so that they can become better acquainted with him. tig also hopes that there will be time that he can spend browsing the newspaper for employment, it is getting close and tig can’t really afford to move without the income on the other side ready to start. Just contacted Sir; seems he didn’t get tigs other two messages…. tig received his new harness yesterday, emailed Rick about having to adjust the straps… Rick is going to send snaps made for it…. He is so great! The sauna was fun on Saturday it was some much needed relaxation time. Even suu was in rare form… she was actually nice to wen and tig…. tig gave both wen and Master Curtis and Bill and suu Christmas gifts… they all said it was great! tig was even nice to Bill in that he gave him all of tigs magazines that Bill would like to “browse” and while he was there tig gave him a printer for his computer…. The other two are going to the free store along with the extra keyboards, mice and modems that tig has just collecting dust… tig has gotten rid of so much crap …. It’s amazing just how much stuff tig has held onto over the years… but now is a great time to do some house cleaning! Literally! The one thing that tig is having a hard time parting with (and he probably won’t) is tigs music… there is so much history tied up in it…. So many memories…. And hard work! What will tig do? tig will most likely store the old stuff and bring the newer stuff a little bit later down the road along with the keyboards. Tig mentioned yesterday that he is a bit scared of going… when you really look at why tig is going it is no wonder why he is scared. When Master, pup and Behr came for the October visit… things were different, they were on my turf so to speak… being submissive was not always something that could be done or accepted for that matter – but going there opens up a whole tidal wave of fears of not knowing what is expected of tig. Will tig be “on” for the entire three days? Will there be any just visit time? What about the collaring? Will tig be promoted to Omega or Gamma? The unknown is so scary… even just the move is terrifying! Leaving the comfort of home, the comfort of seniority at work and all of tigs comfort zones that he has at home…. Is there a comfort zone awaiting tig when he gets there? Will tig be able to handle all of the changes? Will he be allowed time to adjust? To fit in? what if he’s not? What then? Will there be a support platform there for tig when he hits bottom? What kind of platform will be there? Is it just a shoulder to lean on, or will they help tig through? What would tig like? Tonight is submissive chat with wen… it will be interesting to see what topic she has come up with… tig should work on a topic for her…. Hmmm will have to think on that one!
  • Mood: curious

[protected post] ooops!

  • Jan. 10th, 2006 at 12:12 AM

Was hoping to get to bed early tonight and get some rest..... lol... best laid plans! a fun day back to work... volume in next to nothing so had plenty of time to get back in to the swing of things... and had time to waiste! love days like that.... so... before I get to tired and can't get to sleep tig is going to bed!
  • Mood:busy

[protected post] almost there

  • Jan. 8th, 2006 at 9:14 PM

tig got his walk in closet sorted out... which leaves the file cabinets and 1/2 the basement stuff.... it should take about three to four weeks to finish up.... 8 bags of garbage, a load of computer stuff... printer, modems, keyboards and a mouse.... even a cd r/w drive.... going to the free store... this may sound odd but tig feels lighter... less incombured.... kind of a cleaning out of the old leaving plenty of room for the new... guess you could say that this is the second step in realizing tig new life... last night was fun at the sauna... had a great chat with wen and stoney... even suu was "nice" don't know what was up with that... but anyway..... tig offered some furniture to Ms. Lisa and Bill... don't know if they will take it or not... we'll have to see...
  • Mood: satisfied

[protected post] a great day three!

  • Jan. 6th, 2006 at 9:34 PM

what has tig done to deserve three days of bliss? today was nice.... even got a gift from Avon! who'da thunk? :) and the best present yet... aunty got a new apartment! 2nd floor w/elevators, right accross the corridore from the laundry. so she leaves early February... woohoo... then mom and dad can get their lives back together again... before tig moves out.... tig feels that this is going to cost a lot more than he thought.... he may have to sell off a lot of stuff that he has to pay for this move.... tig will have to see what Master was plannig on doing... he mentioned a uhaul... tig isn't to sure about that.... tig was thinking more of taking cloths and computer stuff.... storing a bit and getting rid of the rest.... a lot to think about and chat with Master and pup about.... tig does need to start pushing on jobs... two interviews and still no answer... not good! but tig will start getting back to normal with vacation done and returning to work monday.... ah life will be so much better!
  • Mood: hopeful

[protected post] another great day!

  • Jan. 5th, 2006 at 10:26 PM

even though we got 3 1/2 inches of snow today it ended up being another great day.... any day that ends with Master and pup giving tig a hug has got to be great. tig has started sorting and thinning.... 3 bags of garbage just from half of tigs closet.... yikes! but it needs to be done... Master gave tig the go ahead to do his 90 day review.... had to believe that it's been 90 days as Masters collared slave... which means it's been 7 months total... looking at the chat time with pup.... tig did a lot of thinking about scruffy today and his attitude last night... tig finally understands that not all slaves have the drive that tig does and wishes for more than just basic slaving.... tig even questions using the term slave for what scruffy does.... it seems to be more of a pen pal type of relationship.... consider that scruffy has yet to do anything Master has asked of him... even to the point of blatently saying "I'll do it when and if I get to it" ..... that doesn't sound slavelike to tig... but then tigs bar is set high.... and rightfully so... Master deserves the best... ok so this sounds sort of a pat-on-the-back blog... but Master, pup and behr have seen and commented on what tig offers... and it is important to know that what tig does now is tig... now and forever.... tig enjoys the work and the submission and gladly does so for Master, pup & behr.... tig hopes that during his visit in two weeks... tig will have some quality time alone with each of his superiors.
  • Mood: determined

[protected post] a real good day!

  • Jan. 4th, 2006 at 11:16 PM

today was just a great day.... finished up Masters task and got it submitted.... we got all the christmas stuff packed away and had a great chat with the community... life couldn't be any better! at last nights submissives chat the topic was what do we do to feel better about ourselves in our submissivness... tig found that the more he is able to be an integral part of Masters, Behrs and pups lives the more tig can submit and the happier he is... this seems to sum up where tig is.... he is in that mode of learning about the community, experiencing the lifestyle. that is why tig so longs to move with Master... so that he may become one in will with him... so that he may feel the power that he posseses, so that Master may take all of tig that he wishes to take.... tig has so much to give... so much to offer.... how can tig offer more of himeself to Master being so far away? tig already follows Masters every rule, every wish... Master, Behr and pup have all the praise and love he can give... what can be done?
  • Mood: excited

[protected post] a new life outlook

  • Jan. 3rd, 2006 at 11:23 PM

tig started today with a new outlook on life... wen asked at tonights chat if tig had a new years resolution... tig answered no... that resolutions only lead to failure for tig but she did not ask tig if he has made any life changes.... the answer to that is yes... tig has chosen and moved forward to a new life with Master Cage... what bigger life change is needed? tig finds new years resolutions interesting... how many people actually follow them? are they the same old shopping list? how many people have actually made life changing resolutions and actually did change their life for good???
  • Mood: peaceful

[protected post] a reflection

  • Jan. 2nd, 2006 at 5:28 PM

tig is sitting here looking at a blank form wondering what he should write about. tig hasn't written since the dec 26th for no good reason except that he can... knowing full well that this is a luxury that he will soon give up and gladly hand Master Cage and pup. as time draws closer to the move date tig has realized alot of what he is going to give up and wishes that he could do so sooner... but the distance between us stops that from happening. it's hard to explain the draw that tig has... the gift he so wishes to give and the fulfilment of himself through the service. anytime tig chats with puppy about serving at the house a warmth permeates tig... a peace, a calm comes over him.... but back to todays journal: tig hasn't been journaling because he has been looking back at 2005. what it has given... and taken. 2005 held some very down point for tig, he separated from Andy, he left bill & suu and had a few moments that he was ready to end it all just to end the hurt. 2005 had us attending 4 senior members of the families funerals. we had 2 births, and 2 separations. the BDSM community took a loss this past year and ended with a fire gutting a friends house, tig left bill & suu after 8 months of hurt and abuse... tig resigned from playing at sacred heart and has taken a sabbatical from church itself. this year set tigger on a self discovery expedition... on of the major things that tig found was that going to "church" was being a hypocrite.... going to a place that one knows that his is not accepted at ... not welcome... so on 9/11 tig ended 26 years of playing and has to admit the it is pretty nice not having to worry about it... good things that happened are few and far between but the best thing that ever could have happened did so to tigger... he found Cage Community... or it is better to say that Cage Community found tigger.... 2006 will be a lot better... tig will be moving and starting his life anew... mom and dad need to do the same they need to start anew on their own... the guilt card isn't going to work any more! tig almost forgot to add about the wonderful time he had on friday night... pup allowed tig to release... his rules were to freeze Masters steels anal balls and use the sound and tens unit... tig was to not use manual stimulation and to hold off as long as he could..... well... tig did as instructed and held off for almost 35 minutes.... and with just the power of the tens came with a gush.... it was awesome .... during the time tig thanked Master and pup for allowing him to do this... after tig had relaxed tig licked up everything that he could and made sure to leave some cum on his moustach to smell all night.... tig slept in full chains and cuffs and attached to the hook over the bed and slept very sound and secure in the knowledge that he pleased Master and pup in following his orders.
  • Mood: energetic

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)