Mar. 18th, 2008
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The Journey Continues] I'm here again!
I'm still alive and the week is just beginning! 4 out of 5 funerals are
done the next is tomorrow at 2pm... then it's time to decorate the
church for thursdays liturgy. the choir sounds great... i am so proud
of them all! besides that the house is finally clean... sw leaves
thursday morning I wish her fare winds and a peaceful journey. as for
my journey ... after chatting with ML on a few topics my balance is
renewed and solid. What I seek and where I am is where I belong.
Saturday is MAsT and from the response that I am getting MAsT Southern
Maine will soon fold. I would like to see it continue but I don't see
people that want to be involved... C'est la vie! If it folds - It
folds... It can't be said that it is because of me that it happened...
well, time to close for tonight!
Mar. 15th, 2008
[slavepaul65] You'd think it's a monday!
What a mess... I just mistakenly deleted my journal! Thank the great
universe that I had set things up to do a duplicate blog on Live
journal ... so at least I didn't loose my blog... I will over time be
setting up an archive page with my old posts...I haven't posted in a
while... it's been stupidly busy and it's only going to get worse... I
played two funerals friday, the palm sunday liturgies this weekend, I
have a funeral monday and one wednesday, I have the Chrism Mass tuesday
then have mass thursday night, friday night, saturday night, and sunday
morning! ARGH!!!!So I'll try to do better blogging!
Mar. 6th, 2008
[The continuation of my journey] 3/06/2008 10:04:00 PM
"This slave can't really answer for the needs of most slaves, although
it knowsthat in SlaveMaster's view any "real" spiritual slave needs a
protocol somewhatlike His, or it will not have genuine slavery and not
reach destiny." slave 7's post.I am most disturbed by post such as the
above. Posts that lead to the belief thatSlaveMasters way is the only
way and that any "Real" slave should be formed in his way.This leads
back to my previous post discussing cookie cutter slavery... I'll
discussthis at a later time.
[The continuation of my journey] On being a machine...
"It is interesting to see being a machine associated with that machine
not being a gift, and having no capacity to love or be loved. In other
writings you have learned that while a machine, I am convinced that
slaves are this world's greatest resource. Being able to turn them off
and on doesn't diminish that fact, but, instead, enhances it. Machines
have superior ability to accomplish and are undistracted and
undiminished by egotistic, selfish agenda. That's why slaves are
unequalled in life." SlaveMaster post #0141Where do I start with this.
I do see myself as a machine. A very special machine that learns and
grows as the journey progresses, One that needs to be nurtured to
operate at maximum efficiency. The thought of shutting a machine such
as this off boggles the mind. Why would one that is in control want
to "shut off" his greatest treasure? One could equate it with owning a
precious piece of jewelry and locking it in a safe never to be used and
appreciated... why bother having it? Not using it's ability to shine
and add to it's owners betterment only diminishes the ability,
usefulness and strength that the piece has.I view the term "Machine" as
an object that does one thing at peak performance. Such as a bicycle...
by sitting on it and peddling you get from point A to point B...
Period! You can not use it to wash the car or change a light bulb. The
machine is used for one function. I do find it hard to equate slavery
with that of a machine in those terms. Slavery is such a multi faceted
existence, I can hardly see how that can be compared to a machine.
[The continuation of my journey] Third Person Speech
"When the conscious mind was inconsistent with what was experienced,
the inconsistency absolutely prohibited advancement. When the slave
talked one way, self identified egotistically, it could not accept the
inconsistent and different world of slavery where there is no egotistic
self ownership." SlaveMaster post #213 (Bornslave)I personally find
third person speech inconsistent with being a human first then a slave.
A person can exist with a strong slave heart and serve unceasingly
without having their persona stripped to an "it". I look at the days of
Knights and serfs; Knights employed serfs to serve them just as Masters
employ slaves to serve them. Being a serf was a noble position. One
would be proud to serve as a serf and was held in great respect by his
Knight/Master and peers. I also find that it neither prohibits
advancement nor stops the acceptance of the world of slavery. Instead
it denies the slave the ability to augment his/her humanity with the
slavery and service that he/she longs for. Is denial of ones self (use
of I or me) a way of stroking the ego? I don't believe so. I feel that
the recognition of the I /Me is a reality check. Meaning, that one can
only truly, totally and absolutely trust in oneself in the end. While
we like to think that we as slaves give everything to our Masters -
heart, soul and being; do we actually? I feel we don't. What we
actually do is allow the Master to over see points of who we are that
require a control factor. We don't give it all to them. We as slaves
still hold the authority to be humans... therefore referring to
ourselves as humans (I/me) just enforces the realization of being human
first then a slave to a Master. Which is where I believe the given
protocol derives from. It is much easier to master a non being that to
master a Human being that has great self worth.I know that there are
slave friends that read this blog... I would really enjoy hearing your
thoughts and feelings on this topic.
Mar. 5th, 2008
[The continuation of my journey] A little side quote...
Inner Peace and Outer Peace are synonymous in the sense that without
one,the other wouldn't happen.Yoko Ono
[The continuation of my journey] whistle while I work....
It's a yucky day outside... but a good day inside to work on the
cleaning. So that's just what I'm gonna do. Meditation was much better
today did the full hours with no breaks to re-focus... and Tai Chi hurt
I think it's the way I slept... an Advil will take care of it...Had an
amazing lunch with sw and s yesterday... it has been way too long since
the last one. It was good to catch up on the conference and everything
else that took place over the weekend... It was brought up again that I
should consider applying with SlaveMaster. I have yet to figure what it
is about me that sw and MB see in me that would compliment SlaveMaster
and his beliefs. In reading all of the files and posts on Bornslave I
get the feeling of a cookie cutter household. such practices as third
person speech, ritual daily spanking, not being able to work outside
the house... bottom lining it not being treated as a human but as a
slave only with one function in life. while I understand that this
works for some... I don't see it working for me (on a personal level).
I am a social person, one that needs and requires contact with the
community (M/s as well as vanilla). Over the next couple of days I'll
look at each of the differences I see and where I get my ideas and
beliefs from.But for now I need to get going so I can accomplish what I
hope to today!
Mar. 4th, 2008
[The continuation of my journey] Another busy day ahead....
Have more cleaning to do today but also have some printing to
complete... good thing I can multitask! Doing lunch today with sw,
first time I've seen her since her return from SPLC. I am looking
forward to the "report"! :) Meditation was hard this morning,
the "monkey mind" was up and active early listing out everything that
needs to be accomplished before days end, before choir, before the
weekend, before MAsT, before Easter, before months end and before Anne,
Steve, Aline, Ben, Katie, Maddy, Robert, Holly, Elysia and Missy arrive
early next month! and I wonder why I have monkey mind! So much to do so
little time to do it all in... As long as I am diligent with my work
and schedule (which is way too full!) I will get everything done and
have some time to spare! Tai Chi was good, I completed a full hour and
am now looking forward to a hot breakfast then to work... A good hot
shower before lunch will feel great!I found this morning that I haven't
been reading as much as I had and do indeed miss it. I am going to look
at my schedule and see it I can plug in some time to do just that. I
noticed it today right after meditation... usually my focus is on where
I am in my journey and how what I am reading helps or distracts from
it... but lately my mind has been on the service aspect with all the
cleaning and sorting and organizing that needs my attention. But in
retrospect, I dearly miss the depth that reading offers. So, in
recognizing this... it's time to get back to it! My journey is calling
me back there...So I offer this thought, May the Universe support us in
all we do, may she be joyful with us when we succeed and there to help
pick up the pieces when we don't.Now it's off to get some work done!!!
Mar. 3rd, 2008
[The continuation of my journey] Just as I said...
Today was a day of sorting and cleaning. was able to finish one room
completely and begin another. Doing lunch with sw tomorrow... looking
forward to chatting... it's been way too long since our last lunch
chat. I look forward to hearing about the conference, the pending move
and everything else that is going on. I also want to share the MAsT
transfer binder that I put together for the transfer meeting on the
22nd...Everything else is on track and looking good!
Mar. 2nd, 2008
[The continuation of my journey] Sunday!
It was a great day... sunshine and all! didn't do much just hung out
and relaxed. tomorrow I start cleaning upstairs and finishing up a
print job for Tuesday.
Mar. 1st, 2008
[The continuation of my journey] Sing it to me ONE MORE TIME!!!!
Yup... woke up this morning to about 1 inch on the ground... and
looking for another 5 to 12 inches by days end! then Rain on Tuesday
into Wednesday and again Friday into Saturday.... this is getting
really old! But it is weather and there is nothing we can do about
it!Going to take the weekend off from everything except church... the
homework is done and submitted, the downstairs is clean and the print
jobs are done... so I feel I deserve a bit of down time... for me! I
will start Monday cleaning the upstairs like I did the down, it won't
be as hard... I should be done by Wednesday or Thursday the latest. My
last project is to bin my stuff in the basement so that moving it will
be easier.Meditation and Tai Chi were good this morning... just a
little stiff on the Tai Chi... but all in all good... Mom is doing good
with her Tai Chi also... I'm proud of her for taking the time and
energy to do this for herself! You Go Mom!
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