2006 March - April

[protected post] movie night

  • Apr. 6th, 2006 at 9:57 PM

watched "Brokeback Mountain" tonight with mom & dad... tig finds it interesting how he equates with Ennus in that Ennus was scared to take that jump from dream to reality.. it didn't take a death for tig to finally "get it" it took being empty so empty that it became a life decision... do or die... literally... tig got to a point that he couldn't deal with life if he had no one to serve.... but also realized that he needed more training also... thus the search for training and a Master... the story hit mom hard... she will always worry about me no matter where I go... tig just hopes that her fears aren't founded.... neither Master, pup nor behr seem to offer solid answers... just maybe's or a few or we'll see... not much to offer mom any kind of security.....
  • Mood: content

[protected post] wednesday

  • Apr. 5th, 2006 at 11:17 PM

A tiring day again... buffing wood floors.... tig will be able to relax a bit tomorrow.... really looking forward to it... chat tonight was ok... it was nice to see everyone there... it's too bad we can't have more guys involved in the chat... it would add a bit of interest to the chats.... tig runs out of things to bring up..... especially now where things are winding down for tig....
  • Mood: content

[protected post] busy, busy, busy

  • Apr. 5th, 2006 at 1:12 AM

a long day waiting in the doctors office for dad .... trying to find what is causing him to be sick so much.... ends up that he passed a gall stone... and the toxins are messing with his stomach.. so we put off the dinner with Moe till next monday... thursday will be going to Livermore falls to visit a friend thats in the hospital... planning on making a day of it... friday is a small gathering of friends for dinner.... friday morning is also a doctors appointment to get a new prescription for my meds and testing stuff.... so... it's gonna be a busy week... tigs been doing pretty good... keeping busy helps to make leaving a bit easier...
  • Mood: content

[protected post] exhausted

  • Apr. 3rd, 2006 at 7:48 PM

another long extreamly busy day cleaning... did the laundry and the dining room.... everything got sorted packed stored and what is staying got put back on the hutchs... the yard sale if advertised properly should haul in a good amnount... tigs foot is swollen from all the standing today... going to have to soak it in hot water to get it back down... then it will be time for a hot shower and bed....
  • Mood: tired

[protected post] tuckered out

  • Apr. 2nd, 2006 at 9:35 PM

wow... tig is wiped out... just finished washing the floors throughout the house... washed... rinsed.... waxed... the kitchen is done... completely... the dining room has half the furniture waxed.. the livingroom walls and floor are done... its been a long long day... and tomorrow appears to be the same.
  • Mood: content

[protected post] a day with mom

  • Apr. 1st, 2006 at 10:35 PM

tig spent a good part of the day with mom... chatting about dad and things going on.... she gave me her surger... we did some shopping then cleaned the church up a bit for mass tonight... dad didn't go... mom is starting to get really pissed off at him.... tig wishes he knew what he could do but there really seems to be nothing that can be done... he just has to work through this himself... just wish he wouldn't drag everyone else down too... tig has also been cleaning up yahoo adresses... outlook addresses, and rolodex addresses... will soon have one total list of everyone for Masters contact list....
  • Mood: content

[protected post] boring

  • Mar. 31st, 2006 at 9:31 PM

what can tig say... it was a busy day sorting mom & dads stuff out again... went to tan... and that was it... it was busy but boring..... dad is still sick... but his not drinking or eating isn't helping... no one was online tonight... so tig is going to call it an early night....
  • Mood: content

[protected post] nice!

  • Mar. 30th, 2006 at 11:42 PM

a great day today.... met with slave wen for lunch and a message... we did the lunch and chatting but didn't get to the message but that was ok... got a nice back and neck rub instead... it has been a long time since we just sat and chatted... it was great.... Master Curtis and wen are giving tig a small send off... just what tig was hoping for... nothing big.... mom is doing much better with the moving and stuff in general... dad well... no change... what a surprise....
  • Mood: content

[protected post] a good day

  • Mar. 29th, 2006 at 11:50 PM

What a day…. It was beautiful out today… tig got a lot of work done…. Community chat was tonight… we chatted early… it was nice… even pup was there.. I miss him… and our chats… but have been so busy…. And he is at work… so… can’t bother him… Master needed tig to explain to the community why there is a delay…. So tig did that… then we just chatted about some miscellaneous things… it was real nice… tig was glad that chat wasn’t cancelled…. Tomorrow tig gets to have lunch with wen and also get a message…. A much needed message….
  • Mood: content

[protected post] a busy day

  • Mar. 29th, 2006 at 12:48 AM

Today tig kept real busy trying to not dwell on yesterdays set back…its hard when you psych yourself up for a certain thing to happen and just when its right there… boom! Everything changes… tig looks at it like giving birth… one carries this growing entity within them for 9 months… and as time comes close to give birth to the new life… something happens to postpone the birth for 3 to 5 weeks…. Of course there will be hurt and non acceptance …. Wen sensed tigs discomfort and is going to take tig out to lunch on Thursday then give tig a message…. Something tig needs…. Chat tonight was on sex and our need for it…. Tig is unsure how or where sex fits in his life… sex has always taken a backseat to tigs need to serve and all that goes with that… it has almost been 1 ½ years since tig has been used sexually (anal intercourse) …. Tig isn’t sure how Master plans on caring for tigs desire in this area…. It’s hard not knowing the mind and will of Master but to just trust that he will take care of tig….
  • Mood: content

[protected post] ARGH!

  • Mar. 27th, 2006 at 8:37 PM

a major set back today... one that tig is really upset at the bank for... tigs money for the trip won't be available for disbursement for 3 to 4 weeks... meaning that tig has to push the trip date back to the end of April... just what tig didn't want to do but at this point has no choise.... Master wasn't mad at tig but was dissapointed that tig wouldn't be there... not sure how pup or behr feel about it yet... could have used a big supportive hug from pup today... it would have helped.... tonight tig is just hanging out... not really into doing anything... just need to cool down some...
  • Mood: sad

[protected post] sunday

  • Mar. 26th, 2006 at 12:42 PM

Had a party for dad today… 72 years old…. It wasn’t easy…. Realizing that dad is old and mom is even older… and tig is leaving them to their own… it’s hard to think of it in that light… MAsT was very interesting tonight… tig is anxious to get involved in the MAsT program out there to see how things are done… it will be a great thing for the community…
  • Mood: content

[protected post] almost time.....

  • Mar. 25th, 2006 at 11:18 PM

Well as Saturday comes to a close it brings tig to a two week spot… wow… it’s has come so quickly…. Tig finds that he really isn’t ready for this move… but will do what he can to get there… tomorrow is dads birthday so mom and tig planned a little party for him before tig heads out to the MAsT meeting, tigs going to try the gps street program to see how it all works…. This should be fun… tig is going to assist Master Curtis for the beginning part of the meeting until slave wen arrives… tig is feeling kind of uneasy with things not falling into place as tig would like… but all will work out in the end….
  • Mood: content

[protected post] busy busy

  • Mar. 25th, 2006 at 12:01 AM

Another busy day moving boxes to where they belong… met with stella for a run through memory lane… old pictures… it was fun… but tig had an appointment for tanning… so had to go… tomorrow is a busy day… dad has a class in Portland, mom has a funeral then mass… tig will be moving boxes and doing the little packing left… which is cloths… tigs room is so empty now…. Emotions are starting to set in… with only two weeks to go… tig has mastered the street program on the computer and want to play with the gps tomorrow to see how that and the voice program work…. Fun!
  • Mood: content

[protected post] busy

  • Mar. 23rd, 2006 at 11:07 PM

a busy day today... stored a lot of boxes.... just the music to move to the basement.... then tig can do a final packout of his cloths that he is bringing... and that will finish the packing.... tig is starting to feel the loss of the things he's come to have around... hopefully tig will have a place to call his own when he gets there... leaving will be hard enough but then getting there with no place to be .... not sure how that would go... tig knows that he will spend some time in the cage... but how much? tig endured it for Master and Master was appreciative... but how much will tig have to endure for Masters pleasure? chatted with cagerat tonight... seems he will be visiting in April... later in the month... he sounds nice... it will be great meeting him... it's interesting that he aspires to sigma or even delta.... the same as hound.... not sure why... we didn't get that far into chatting... seems he lives not far from anne & steve... might get to see him in July for Master/slave conference.... that is if we are still going....
  • Mood: content

[protected post] another day

  • Mar. 22nd, 2006 at 8:48 PM

today was a good day... took a road trip to portland this morning with mom and dad.. and on the way home picked up the travel software... it is so kool... love the gps unit... going to play around with it the rest of the week to get used to it.... tonight tig spent chatting with friends online... something that tig hasn't done in a while... tig will be glad when the paperwork comes in for tigs esop plan... tig will be calling friday if it hasn't come in.... timing will be very close... but should be able to be done.... wen emailed tig and told him to block off Friday the 7th... not sure for what... another day closer to Move day....
  • Mood: content

[protected post] busy, busy. busy!

  • Mar. 21st, 2006 at 11:27 PM

a very busy day today got a lot of glassware taken care of... tig will need to drop Master an email tomorrow morning about a few items that the community may need... chatted with Master and hound this afternoon... it was great... hound sounds so happy... much like tig feels... tig thought he would be scared to leave... but as time gets closer and things start moving along.. tig feels a calm that is so welcome with him at this time... it's one of those peace feelings that you just don't want to end.... tomorrow is a portland trip with mom & dad... going to look for a church....
  • Mood: content

[protected post] day 1 unemployed!

  • Mar. 20th, 2006 at 6:52 PM

a fairly quiet day for tig today... after a busy weekend with packing music and stuff.. tig decided to take today off and just enjoy the day.... tig did have feelings concerning the scruffy issue to process... it will be a loss to the community... tig for one will miss him... even though he like to push buttons he was fun to chat with.. tig was really looking forward to meeting him this summer... he was such a live wire... but as tig explained to him he couldn't take sides... this was between scruffy, Master and pup... tig still feels like that.... tonight is going to be a nice early night... going to be getting back to packing tomorrow.... so an early start will be good.
  • Mood: content

[protected post] a wonderful hard night

  • Mar. 19th, 2006 at 10:33 PM

Yesterday was a joy… to sit in the sauna and just let all tigs worries leave his body… then to sit in the hot tub and chat about all the fears, all the things that give tig doubt…. To again release the things that worry tig… what a mental and physical cleansing…. Something everyone can use.. Friday night was a wonderful hard night… ok that sounds confusing… “wonderful hard ” … it was hard because of tigs last day at the banks… 12 years… saying goodbye is never easy… and so it was with tig… tig left many friends with tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat… so tig chatted with Master… feeling that if tig was in full chains and plugged tig could feel the love of Master and sleep more soundly… Master even told tig to release… Master said that He has seen the struggles that tig has gone through and appreciates tigs work…. tig was pleased that Master saw the work tig was doing… that made tig feel so close to Master along with the plug and chains… it was great…. And so relaxing…. tig is happy in knowing that Master has a handle on where tig is… it makes a big move a lot easier… so as tig finalizes his plans for the drive… he leaves his worries in masters hands knowing that if tig needs support Master will be there with what tig needs…. The sign of a caring Master! tig is blessed.
  • Mood: content

[protected post] Mar. 17th, 2006

  • 6:54 PM

a lot of emotions in tigs head tonight... this was tigs last day at the banks.... tig has a ton of emotions built up in him... and needs some quiet time to focus and sort out all of the feelings.... so will be spending the weekend at Richmond sauna.... tig is looging forward to the rest..... mom is major weepy today... makes things even harder!

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