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lives. So... I thought I would do a journal about it. For me Power
isn't about who makes the most money, who has the best job, or the best
looking partner. It's about sustainability - how someone can edit their
life, while owning another and make it work long term. To bring it
closer, how well a person knows them self and how well they can use
their self knowledge to sustain their chosen relationship...For me a
truly powerful person knows their limits and knows what they are
capable of doing and uses that to better their life choice.guess that
wasn't too bad! lol
by the shore! I posted a question to mainesubmissive... what a
mistake... or maybe not! I asked for people to relabel their doms... be
it Master, Dom, Sir, Madam, Lady.... whatever.... I got a few answers
then kris started... why do we need labels? it must be you thats
insecure... yadda yadda yadda.... I just kept my mouth shut... it took
a lot to not stoop to his level but I did it.... then Joie asked a good
question and I replied... he started again... but i didn't answer till
wen stepped in... I loved it... then I politely replied to him... Ever
been spanked in public kris??? everything else is going great! we are
ready for Robert's visit on Saturday! sent an email off to Dan...
haven't heard back yet.... hopefully by monday!
of the sun and the breezes from the winds. I love working for myself in
that I can get outside and work from there... I'm not stuck in a box in
a room of boxes! NO finished up the work on the organ at Holy Trinity
today... a mere $1600 later!!! ouch... that can kill a budget! but the
work needed to be done! I should be able to replenish my budget in a
couple of weeks between church and the logo designs that I am working
on... I'm not to worried... LW goes to Butchmanns this weekend (I
think), I must get in touch with her first though.... SD is doing
great, looks like we might hook up again in early october... I hope, I
hope.... I like him a lot... don't see serving him but he is good in
many ways... all in all it's been a quiet start to the week... It has
given me time to start writing my essay for Ruble and also writing to
Master Larry... I've been doing a lot of reading on energy work along
with some personal tests like aligning my chakras... not as easy as it
looks.... and a lot scarier too!I've never really known or understood
the amount of power and energy that we posses... it's a scary thing to
see this in people... will chat more on this later! off to relax and
read!
Chain). This group was established to go back to a time where Respect,
Honor and Trust were the norm, a time of the past; today is the age of
ME and only ME! if it doesn't effect ME then it isn't... period! It
brings up the topic of a plaque that I found while on a recent outing
with LW, it read "History should be a guidepost not a hitching post" -
in short learn from the past but move forward... don't live in the
past. I would like to see how many of those that long to return to the
past are willing to change themselves first. As I begin my 42nd year on
this earth I look forward to the future. I use the past to guide me
along the way but have stopped living in that past. I no longer look at
the past 42 years but look forward to many many more! I pray that those
living in the past learn to seek the future as scary as it may seem,
good things face us out there!
good sized group and a great group with lots of insight. Got to meet
three new friends from MA. It's interesting to think that the last 5
people to join MAsT SM are from out of state, where is the Maine
contingent? Is there one? It was nice to see J return, a lost soul that
needs and desires to be found. M was full of ideas on involving TNG
with the MAsT group... good idea? Unsure about that as of yet, but we
will see what happens. it seemed to be a good meeting with lots of
insights on integrating M/s in our lives. It all seems to come down to
the same topic of communication and what works best for you and your
partner or even you alone if you don't have a Master/Dom. Lots to think
about!
porch to watch the birds and squirrels play in the yard. As they did I
listened to the multitude of songs from the birds which led me to
wonder - does a bluejay understand the song of a sparrow? how about a
mockingbird? a mourning dove? do any of these understand the chatter of
the squirrel? or is it like a german speaking to a frenchman? Is there
a common language in the aviary world? and a common language for the
small critters? We as Americans have adopted English as our common
language and yet I have found myself learning a few words such as thank
you, hello and a few others in sign language, french, spanish and may
work on german... why? while shopping yesterday at the commissary a
very nice, polite young man bagged out groceries and brought them out
to the car, as usual we tipped them he responded in sign "thank you"...
I was able to respond in like with "Thank you" in sign... just the
smile on his face was thanks enough... Samantha Brown who does a travel
show says that it is polite and welcoming to at least greet someone in
their language then ask if they speak english. I will try to be more
mindful of that and learn as much as I can to greet in multi languages.
undermine themselves I wonder why I was drawn to join them in the first
place... was it just to belong? just to be a part of a greater entity?
or was it to be personally accepted? As I delve deeper in my spiritual
journey I find that acceptance was the root. But as I grow in my self
awareness I also find that being accepted by others is only a way of
accepting ones self. In short accepting yourself is more important and
more rewarding than being accepted by others around. So why the need
for belonging?
need to get back to. Today was wonderful, played 8:00am mass at Holy
Trinity, went shopping with mom at Staples, had dinner, then went to
meet the boat of cruisers... I am so glad they had a great time... and
I was pleased to be able to give slave susan a birthday cake! Happy
Birthday s. susan! Master Tony is looking as good as ever as is Master
Curtis; and of course there is wen - glowing as only she can do. The
more things happen the more I see serving her rather than doing the
long distance thing. But I'm in no hurry to decide or make a choice. I
find myself disagreeing with Stoney on his stand of needing a Master to
serve, for me serving my need for spiritual growth, personal groth and
all around enlightenment overshadows the "need" for a Master. Please
understand that I'm not saying if the opportunity arose to enter
service I wouldn't take it or that I wouldn't accept a position as Lady
wens slave/Staff. I envy wen attending Butchmanns, I hope to follow her
lead in the near future (early next year I hope). It's something that
I've often thought about. We'll see.... well, I will be more diligent
about doing my writing! I promise!
weekend. So much happened, a different feeling, a new outlook, a
refined search parameter and a fresh renewed spirit. there was also a
life lesson that emanated throughout the weekend: Be AUTHENTIC to
yourself and your beliefs – even if it hurts.When it does – recognize
it for what it is, accept it and own it.Seek the reason for the hurt
inside – not the reason for the hurt outside.Once you have the reason –
do the inner being work to fix that which caused it.Don’t just adjust
your image or belief to what you feel other want to see or to
feel.Instead, continue a life of Authenticity. REMEMBER: Peoples image
of you is theirs to own not yours to judge or fix… whenFaced with
adversity seek an inward stance to find what about you gave that
impression.Once found do the inward work to align it to a truer
authenticity.
for me this life lesson hits a chord. In the past month or so I have
made a decision to change to a life of transparency, what you see is
who I am... nothing more - nothing less.
with the directions being countered from the front and back seats... I
hope the trip home goes better! It's been hectic! Katie is so big...
I'll have pics uploaded tomorrow. I'm not really sure why but I'm a bit
apprehensive about the conference... maybe it meeting with Master Larry
or maybe it's because I don't have w here to share with like I did the
last time. it kind of like I'm out on my own for the 1st time... I am
looking forward to meeting up with the Masters and slaves that I have
chatted with about the website... that will be fun...!! Well... i'm
getting a bit tired... no make that a lot tired! mon oncle isn't as
young as he used to be.... lol Till Tomorrow!
Friday, Saturday and Sunday in Lisbon Falls - every weekend after the
4th of July is THE MOXIE FESTIVAL... for those that don't know, Moxie
is a soft drink... tastes like Dr. Pepper... it was originally made as
a medicine... definitely an acquired taste! but we do it right a Two
hour (the longest in Maine) parade, old car shows, concerts, firemens
muster, Pow Wow and Calvary encampment.... whew... Oh... forgot the
fireworks! All for a soda! but it was a beautiful day and fun!Tomorrow
we pack... the house is clean top to bottom, the lawns are done... so
we pack then finish up the last running around and pack the car on
Monday... I am so excited!!!
almost done! The house is clean top to bottom... the floors will get
done tomorrow. The lawns get done today along with moms message with
wen... I might even get a chance to get to k-mart to get some new black
pullovers. Packing will get done on sunday and monday will be the catch
the little things day and top the gas off in the car. My goal is
leaving here at 3am tuesday... that will put us in DC around 5:30...
Heard today that Michele and Curtis are driving down on thursday and
returning sunday... I wish w & s were going... they would get a lot
more out of it... I won't have a lot of time to spend with them... my
time will be in service to Master Larry... helping out when and where
needed. I left the BDSMMaine group for the last time... I had hopped
that things would have changed but it's the same crap... I don't need
that... for it being a BDSM group there was way too much time spent on
P's colonoscopy and other stupid topics ... enough is enough! so away
with them... It actually gives me more time to spend with the MAsT
chapter and MAsT open groups... the MAsT SM webpage is looking and
holding up real good... 70 hits in three days mostly from out of state!
I love it... I have received some nice emails from Masters and slaves
that have looked it over... including Master Taino and Master Skip
Chase telling how they liked the flow of the site... Woohoo! It's nice
to hear "good job" everynow and then...
and regional communities of like minded folks. We as part of the global
community enjoy groups... people... co-habitants of life. But what do
you do when leaders in said community cease to respect and accept
members because of preconceived feeling and/or directives from other
members? Should one just sit back and allow the group to ostracize?
Should one fight back? or should one just walk away and keep their
dignity in tact?I for one don't confront quietly, if I'm pissed or have
been wronged many will know about it... I am told that I tend to always
bring the big guns out quickly... I have learned over time not to play
with the middle men of business... If I don't get what is expected go
to the top and start there! and patient... not me!I asked what one
should do about this... for me... to be safe... is to walk away... stay
and work with people that accept me... but as I leave I know that my
dignity is in tact... what they sow they will reap! We must stand
together; if we don't there will be no victory for any one of us... so
I stand with people who accept and respect me and walk away from those
that don't...
centering, family wise - everyone got along and was feeling pretty
good... not much stress... and in general just got a lot of personal
crap out of the way. I really don't have anything else to say except
that I am more in tune with my slavery tonight - I am having that
familiar feeling that I need to find a Master or household to serve...
stir crazy is what I feel... thus the need to recenter today.
it... I got the MAsT site re-arranged I hope wen likes it... I know I
do! There is so much that I would like to put out there and with this
format we can! It's just a matter of adding a link. The wedding was
beautiful this morning - everyone seemed quite pleased with the music.
10 days till we leave for DC... I am getting so excited!!! Master Taino
mentioned that he is looking forward to seeing me again... couldn't
believe he actually remembered me from the M/s Conference last year and
the few emails I have sent him. What an amazing man! Wouldn't mind
serving him that's for sure!!!
bringing dad to emergency, getting the music ready for the wedding on
saturday, attending tub talk and working on the MAsT blogsite.... to
say the least I've been a little busy! But i'm still here and doing
ok... Tub talk always seems to pull me back to reality and where i need
to work. Wen and Stoney are the best not to mention the most in-depth
insight into a lifestyle that I'm still a novice at. I'm glad to have
friends like that to help through the dry times. The MAsT site is
looking good but I have an idea to de-clutter it... going to chat with
wen a bit tomorrow about it. Dad is ok.. just knocked his back out
again... how? doing stupid things that he knows better than to do!
ARGHHHH!!! well... I'll get through it!
meaning do we as slaves go into relationships, scenes and lifestyles
with the perception of I will serve if you XXX? (fill in your own topic
or action). Do the Masters do the same? I will be your Master if you
XXX? It got me to thinking of the pre-notions that have entered my
relationships with and how quickly they have fallen apart sometimes
because of the condition that I set and sometimes because of conditions
that the Master has set. In looking at this I can see how important
negotiations and honesty are for both Master and slave. This also goes
back to limits (hard/soft/whatever) mine have been fairly standard no
blood play, no scat, no children, no animals... besides that I will try
anything once and decide after that - I feel that that is a fair way to
open the topics of extreme play up with my Master without binding his
hand to the point of him having to ask directions of me...I'm getting
anxious about the upcoming conference and the possibility of applying
to Master Larry's house... just 13 days till we leave!!!
time revisiting my sacred contract. About 4 months ago I sat in a quiet
room alone and wrote out my sacred contract with myself. Today I opened
it up and re-read it and re-confirmed what I wrote. My contract:I vow
that i will live my life honestly and at peace. What I feel I will
acknowledge, face and deal with openly. I won't unduly judge those
around me. I will promote to the best of my ability a life that is
clean and healthy. I will wake each morning with a smile that the
powers that be have given me a new day to deal with. I will deal with
everything during that day in the most positive way I can and will take
the consequences for that which I mess up. I will not purposely hurt
anyone and those that I do will know that I am sorry for not thinking
of them in a positive light and will ask forgiveness of them. I do
these things for my myself so that I may serve my Master to the best of
my ability.What I wrote back then is how I have been trying to live and
I will continue to do so!What an interesting day!
cool... thank the powers that be for the AC!!! Looks like I'll be
getting a PT job after the M/s conference funds are short and work is
light... I still have small weekly print jobs to do but not enough to
keep me busy. I feel that this is why I am out of sorts lately... too
much time to think! I've done a pre application (for my use) to prepare
a final application to Master Larry's household... I would like to have
it prepared for the conference so that if things work out after we meet
i can submit the application for His consideration. I got my final
information packet for culinary school in the fall... 9 months of study
till I am certified... it only took me 6 months to be certified as a
butler!!! oh well that's ok it will be fun getting back to studying...
and doing all that cooking ;) All in all things are going ok... I'm
felling pretty good about things!
As I search for meaning within myself and a Master to serve I better understand how important obedience is to both me and the Master I serve.
- Mood:
content
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